Stop and read the following story and see if this situation or a similar situation has been present in your life. An ex-client of mine, let's call her Sherry to protect her identity, was having a hard time attracting and maintaining a meaningful relationship. She seemed like she kept attracting the same type of person over and over again; each one ends in disaster.

As we investigated this situation a little more deeply, we discovered that Sherry was still angry at a former partner who had betrayed her. She whenever she thought of this person, she would rage with anger and hostility. Even though this relationship ended years ago, she still had thoughts of revenge. She kept that anger pent up inside her. She clung to him without letting him go completely David McGraw.

Imagine for a moment that Sherry is like a kettle, and let's say that her anger represents boiling water. Now how long does it take for the water to boil if the water in the kettle is already hot? Not long ago? So what happens when Sherry enters a relationship when her "water" is already hot? Yes, she overflows pretty quickly, not good for a healthy relationship.

Can you see how holding onto this anger could hinder her new relationships? It wasn't until she realized that she was holding on to anger and released her from it, that she opened up to new and harmonious relationships.

Anger itself is not a bad thing, it is a natural emotion. It's okay to be angry sometimes. Anger helps us to know when it is necessary to change things, when it is necessary to improve things. When expressed appropriately, it is a very valuable tool.

It's when we repress our anger and let it build up until it explodes that anger can get us into trouble. Therefore, it is very wise to learn to release anger in a positive way.

There are many ways to release anger; For example, you might start by telling the truth about how you feel. If something or someone is bothering you, acknowledge it, express it, and then let it go. I wouldn't suggest going around blaming others for her anger, but wouldn't it benefit both of you to have a sincere and loving dialogue, yes? You would be surprised how much better you feel after expressing something that bothers you.

You can release anger even more deeply by going directly to the source of the anger. This usually requires a little more discipline, but it can be done. There is often something buried in the subconscious that triggers our anger, just like Sherry.  

So is there an area in life that keeps popping up over and over again, where you seem to have no control over how you feel about it? Are you angry with other drivers? Do other people's actions bother you? Is there something in your life that creates feelings that you don't like? If there is, know that now you can choose in advance how you will feel about it. You can decide to be who you want to be no matter what is happening in the world. What do you choose to be now?